My Anti-Videos !

Subtitles with
Kapwing

Anti-Video-No-12
Wanting to be right
2023-08-30
What do I learn through this disease that I would not have learned otherwise? Wanting to be right immediately comes to my mind. Just thinking about it, gets my ego excited and it looks forward to a” feast” … To be right, I have to "prove" that I am right. For that you need words. I don't have them anymore. “There you go, ego, checkmate ! This playground no longer exists!” And now? I discover that wanting to be right is superfluous. Reality doesn't need any defense, certainly not from my ego which uses being right only to make itself great. Reality is ! What does the sky care if my ego claims it to be red or blue !

Anti-Video-No-11
The How-Question !
2023-08-07
To what extent is it important to know what we might face in the future ? Some information helps to be realistic, in my case e.g. the gastric tube that will eventually be necessary. However, if my mind is constantly circling around the future, I am not living. Then I am already dead for the present moment. I don't let the mental body ask “who, what, when or why?”, but I let it ask the how-question: How can I deal with what presents itself right now ? As a result, I am in the now and I include everything that life is offering me at this very moment.

Anti-Video-No-10
For what do I need words ?
2023-07-26
Language is a great achievement of mankind. It makes stories possible, fairy tales, poetry, abstraction, philosophy, etc.. But in everyday routine, how do we use language ? Through the unfamiliar discipline of muteness, which life suggests to me, I have found that in everyday life I mainly give explanations to justify to myself that I do what I do. In my current situation, language is necessary for logistical things such as making arrangements, planning, etc.. Through my new silence I experience the freedom of doing without explanation and the deep beauty of being together without words !

Anti-Video-No-9
What is Health ?
2023-07-07
When we talk about health, we usually ignore the fact that, one day, we will die. Therefore, I ask : is the question of what is health tied to the body at all ? There is a time for striving for physical health and there is a time when the question of health becomes detached from the physical body. The body itself communicates the change to this new reality.

Anti-Video-No-8
The Gift
2023-06-17
​Victimhood is a state of mind. The reality is : it is impossible to be a victim ! Exactly corresponding to this : it is impossible that my Being creates life circumstances which are bad for me. Every situation including this disease, every person, every word and every gesture in every moment serves me, whether I'm aware of it or not.

Anti-Video-No-7
Vastness
2023-06-09
Meanwhile, my speech is more slurred and, sometimes, people don't understand me anymore. This causes emotional and physical tensions in me. Then I make myself wide, so wide that I reach the space where I am always relaxed. From there, I let all the tensions flourish until they fade away on their own.

Anti-Video-No-6
Resistance
2023-05-21
Not feeling resistance to anything is a place within me - not something that can be learned - but a place that is always available, that I can navigate to at any time.

Anti-Video-No-5
False Well-Being
2023-05-11
I felt "good" in the morning, until I found out that my "feeling good" had nothing to do with well-being at all, but with the habitual and ordinary scenario of my box, including all self-devalorisations.

Anti-Video-No-4
Transformation is happening
2023-05-10
I talk about my experience of several minutes in complete openness and how transformation happens without my intervention. And how judgmental thoughts return afterwards, with the difference that I no longer believe them due to the previous experience.

Anti-Video-No-3
Body and Time
2023-05-06
Body and time is the theme and I speak about horizontal, linear time perception and illness and vertical, moment to moment time perception and well-being.

Anti-Video-No-2
Bullshit
2023-05-05
This time, I speak about the bullshit I am telling when I pretend to be honest, present and full of wisdom.

Anti-Video-No-1
Joy !
2023-4-28
I am diagnosed with ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis). I live nevertheless in joy.

Ingrid in conversation avec Susanne

How to be happy despite everything !
Ingrid Schmithüsen in conversation with Susanne Hutzler
2023-04-27
About life and joy, about the transformational inner journey into the shadow world and the treasures that can be found there, about the unmixing of ego states and about micro-experiments that keep awake.

Before the diagnosis of ALS !

Cassoulet or Coq au vin ?
​2022-12-31

Selfpraise is Gremlin !
​2022-10-03
Selfpraise is Gremlin ! My Gremlin uses my parent-ego-state to implement that habit. Through selfpraise I am building a false "I". It's a box-"I" of an "I am o.k./you are not o.k."-box. Now, knowing that I have that habit since decades, I go liquid when I notice selfpraise. It's my X on the map !

My Gremlin Kraah talks to you

Kraah, 2022 March 4th

Kraah, 2021 December 31st

Ingrid Schmithüsen
Carignan, Québec, Canada
email : ingrid.schmithusen@imzentrumlied.de