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Requiem for Ingrid
2024 November 10th
You are welcome to a Requiem Space, held by Clinton Callahan, while I am still living in a physical body. I have the chance to experience the transition to another state of Life in slow motion. You are invited to feel, to express from your heart, to grieve and to share whatever is alive in you, in silence or with words. The Requiem is published on the website Learn to die . Love Ingrid |
Music for the Requiem
Gustav Mahler: Ich bin der Welt abhanden gekommen
Ingrid with Thomas Palm, piano Lyrics: Friedrich Rückert English translation by copyright ©️ Emily Ezust lieder.net Traduction française de copyright ©️ Guy Laffaille lieder.net Concert recorded by WDR (West German Radio) 2011 May 14th in Essen |
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2024 May 30th
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Radical Alive Women
Julia Neumann :
Ingrid Schmithüsen is a Woman that has gone first in many different ways. In this stage of her life, she is learning to die consciously, and she generously shares her journey and findings. In this Radically Alive Women interview with Hannah Fatima Abouzahrah and Annika Korsten, she speaks about Life, Dying, Presence, and Love. Ingrid has ALS and can no longer speak with her own voice, so she's borrowing a computer generated voice. Cornelius Butz : This is theee most beautiful video I have ever seen! By far! Thank you radical women for making this possible and to you Ingrid for letting this radical beauty shine so brightly through you right into my face!!!!! |
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Gratitude
This is my last anti-video. I can no longer do the necessary steps myself. It's a video about Gratitude. I am grateful for my entire life, for every single experience. Life is good to me. It set me on the path of consciousness. What more could I ask for? Thank you, Life !
2024 April 17th |
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My Anti-Videos !
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Anti-Video-No-18
Presence 2024-03-10 To experience aliveness, you have to be willing to feel fear, especially low-level fear which is present in every situation in life. Feeling "safe" is an illusion. And yet, we so readily turn numb to our precious key to living presence. This illness teaches me to keep low level fear alive. Fear, aliveness and presence belong together. |
Anti-Video-No-17
Newborn ! 2024-01-27 The space of healthiness is always within reach. All I need to do is hopping into the gap that lies between each space, in this case the space of illness. How do I do that ? By leaving the horizontal axis of causality and logic, including my own past, and entering the vertical axis of intuition, synchronicity and presence. In this gap, radical not knowing prevails in a minimal here and now. From there I can reach any space, including the space of healthiness. Who would call a crooked tree sick? |
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Anti-Video-No-16
Sleep 2024-01-13 Yes, a night of deep sleep is restorative, physically, mentally, emotionally, energetically and archetypally. Each of us has experienced this. But do we allow for the wisdom of sleeplessness ? No ! I had no idea how fixated several parts of me were on the concept of needing to sleep in order to feel well. Now I trust my body's intelligence that something else is more important than sleep when it lies awake at night. It is an invitation to feel and listen and open up to the messages from all my bodies. |
Anti-Video-No-15
Relics 2023-12-10 Dying is a process. I am lucky enough to experience this process in slow motion and to be able to report on it. Our body is an element that is embedded in a cycle of energy. When this element is permeable, energy flows. If the element increases resistance, the element can overheat and become damaged itself. As life progresses, we all increase resistance through rigid beliefs and stored unfinished emotions. The dying process requires us to let all of this go. While making the first video, I experienced the peace that comes from fully letting go. I do a Frenchism error in this video: stoquer (fr.) = to store (e.) The subtitles are correct. |
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Anti-Video-No-14
What is worth living for ! 2023-11-27 Should I now consider whether or not I will make use of medical euthanasia ? If I did that and named criteria for what, in my present appreciation of life, is worth living for, and the loss of which ability no longer feels good, then I am pre-programming today what I will experience tomorrow in exactly that same way. I am glad that I see the trap of the self-fulfilling prophecy. I can avoid it. And at the same time, I am grateful to live in a country that offers this possibility. |
Anti-Video-No-13
Life is ! 2023-10-22 We associate life with life in a body. I have the chance to experience this obvious connection as untrue. I feel alive in a dying body, and I feel more alive than ever. How can that be ? Aliveness is a vibration that can be experienced independently of the body. I'm currently practicing it. And when I perceive what I normally call "I" as a vibration, it doesn't matter what state my body is in. Vibration is life. Life is joy. |
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Anti-Video-No-12
Wanting to be right 2023-08-30 What do I learn through this disease that I would not have learned otherwise? Wanting to be right immediately comes to my mind. Just thinking about it, gets my ego excited and it looks forward to a” feast” … To be right, I have to "prove" that I am right. For that you need words. I don't have them anymore. “There you go, ego, checkmate ! This playground no longer exists!” And now? I discover that wanting to be right is superfluous. Reality doesn't need any defense, certainly not from my ego which uses being right only to make itself great. Reality is ! What does the sky care if my ego claims it to be red or blue ! |
Anti-Video-No-11
The How-Question ! 2023-08-07 To what extent is it important to know what we might face in the future ? Some information helps to be realistic, in my case e.g. the gastric tube that will eventually be necessary. However, if my mind is constantly circling around the future, I am not living. Then I am already dead for the present moment. I don't let the mental body ask “who, what, when or why?”, but I let it ask the how-question: How can I deal with what presents itself right now ? As a result, I am in the now and I include everything that life is offering me at this very moment. |
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Anti-Video-No-10
For what do I need words ? 2023-07-26 Language is a great achievement of mankind. It makes stories possible, fairy tales, poetry, abstraction, philosophy, etc.. But in everyday routine, how do we use language ? Through the unfamiliar discipline of muteness, which life suggests to me, I have found that in everyday life I mainly give explanations to justify to myself that I do what I do. In my current situation, language is necessary for logistical things such as making arrangements, planning, etc.. Through my new silence I experience the freedom of doing without explanation and the deep beauty of being together without words ! |
Anti-Video-No-9
What is Health ? 2023-07-07 When we talk about health, we usually ignore the fact that, one day, we will die. Therefore, I ask : is the question of what is health tied to the body at all ? There is a time for striving for physical health and there is a time when the question of health becomes detached from the physical body. The body itself communicates the change to this new reality. |
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Anti-Video-No-8
The Gift 2023-06-17 Victimhood is a state of mind. The reality is : it is impossible to be a victim ! Exactly corresponding to this : it is impossible that my Being creates life circumstances which are bad for me. Every situation including this disease, every person, every word and every gesture in every moment serves me, whether I'm aware of it or not. |
Anti-Video-No-7
Vastness 2023-06-09 Meanwhile, my speech is more slurred and, sometimes, people don't understand me anymore. This causes emotional and physical tensions in me. Then I make myself wide, so wide that I reach the space where I am always relaxed. From there, I let all the tensions flourish until they fade away on their own. |
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Anti-Video-No-6
Resistance 2023-05-21 Not feeling resistance to anything is a place within me - not something that can be learned - but a place that is always available, that I can navigate to at any time. |
Anti-Video-No-5
False Well-Being 2023-05-11 I felt "good" in the morning, until I found out that my "feeling good" had nothing to do with well-being at all, but with the habitual and ordinary scenario of my box, including all self-devalorisations. |
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Anti-Video-No-4
Transformation is happening 2023-05-10 I talk about my experience of several minutes in complete openness and how transformation happens without my intervention. And how judgmental thoughts return afterwards, with the difference that I no longer believe them due to the previous experience. |
Anti-Video-No-3
Body and Time 2023-05-06 Body and time is the theme and I speak about horizontal, linear time perception and illness and vertical, moment to moment time perception and well-being. |
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Anti-Video-No-2
Bullshit 2023-05-05 This time, I speak about the bullshit I am telling when I pretend to be honest, present and full of wisdom. |
Anti-Video-No-1
Joy ! 2023-4-28 I am diagnosed with ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis). I live nevertheless in joy. |
Ingrid in conversation avec Susanne
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How to be happy despite everything ! Ingrid Schmithüsen in conversation with Susanne Hutzler 2023-04-27 About life and joy, about the transformational inner journey into the shadow world and the treasures that can be found there, about the unmixing of ego states and about micro-experiments that keep awake. |
Before the diagnosis of ALS !
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Cassoulet or Coq au vin ?
2022-12-31 |
Selfpraise is Gremlin !
2022-10-03 Selfpraise is Gremlin ! My Gremlin uses my parent-ego-state to implement that habit. Through selfpraise I am building a false "I". It's a box-"I" of an "I am o.k./you are not o.k."-box. Now, knowing that I have that habit since decades, I go liquid when I notice selfpraise. It's my X on the map ! |
My Gremlin Kraah talks to you
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Kraah, 2022 March 4th
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Kraah, 2021 December 31st
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